The Perfection in Imperfection.
Relationships of any kind, from romantic to even work-related, are not always smooth-sailing. However, in the modern society that we live in, the ‘ideal relationship’ is often portrayed as one that is perfect. One that is completely free of struggles and the messiness that actually oftentimes comes with simply being human.
In this blog we’re going to discuss relationships, no matter what the kind, and the importance of embracing and leaning into their imperfections and vulnerabilities, in order to allow for growth, strength and profound love.
The Problem with ‘Perfection’
Humans are neurobiologically hardwired to want to seek perfection. We have evolved to want more. To achieve more. This can often lead us to wanting more from our relationships. Whilst its good to have standards and boundaries of what one finds acceptable and unacceptable in any relationship, this expectation of perfection can be problematic. The ‘Grass is Greener’ phrase comes to mind. Sometimes we can become disillusioned at our relationships when we hit rough ground. When we feel the relationship isn’t fulfilling our expectations.
Paradoxically, in our pursuit for perfection, we may actually end up losing out, and our chance for real happiness can become compromised. If every time we enter uncomfortable territory and decide to call it a day and venture out in the hopes that we’ll find the ‘perfect’ one, we deny ourselves, and our relationships the chance for real growth.
Not-so-great Expectations
The problem with perfection is that it is an impossible expectation for anyone and anything. Life is not perfect. It is far from it. Us humans are apart of life and therefore by default we are destined to forever be imperfect. We are flawed. Messy. Complicated. Utterly vulnerable. But it is when we embrace each other’s flaws, messiness, complications and vulnerabilities that we show how beautiful we really are.
Perfectly Imperfect
In order to create meaningful and long-lasting relationships of any kind, we need to nurture them. Most importantly nurturing them when things are far from being perfect. As mentioned before, relationships are not always smooth-sailing. Of course that’s because a relationship requires the partnership of two flawed human beings. Therefore in order to cultivate real love, respect, and happiness in a relationship, we must be willing to give room for the uncomfortable parts of being human.
Sacrifice and compromise are essential for growth and prosperity in any relationship. Just like with a plant, we sometimes have to cut back some leaves to allow it to flourish. We may at times need to do this with our own relationships. We may need to prioritise the person over ourselves at times and vice verse, and compromise on preferences.
When times get tough we need to lean into vulnerability and not run from it. This can be hard and uncomfortable. But what’s the alternative really? Because the truth is, in any relationship we will always hit rough terrain at a certain point. It’s inevitable. We can’t keep starting over in the hopes that we’ll eventually achieve perfection.
We need to have the hard discussions and communicate our true feelings. Sometimes this may feel counterintuitive, as it can lead to arguments and tension. But when we avoid conflict for the sake of peace, we cause a war within. And if we aren’t expressing our needs and emotions outwards they will turn inwards, and we may become disconnected. Over time this can quietly erode the foundations of any relationship. When we are open and honest with each other we can overcome even the toughest of situations, allowing for a deeper sense of trust and connection.
The most important thing is that we nurture the love and respect we have for one another. No matter how hard things get. We need to keep communicating honestly, and openly. Replacing shame with empathy for one another. Accepting each other as the flawed but beautiful individuals that we are. Embracing each other’s imperfections is the closest thing we’ll get to perfection, and is the real birthplace of growth, connection and lasting love.
The grass we stand on can be the greenest of greens if we just add a little water.
Written by Deirdre Lynch Senior Beauty Therapist
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